chapter 354

Dear Dairy, Sunny

28 March 2010,

Today, I spent my day out at the city. It was well spent.
Celebrated Xueling's 18th Birthday. We caught a movie, dined in a comfy restaurant and spent time at a cafe talking. Drowned in laughter today. Me likes.

Once again, Happy 18th Birthday Xueling!

___

I had a terrible night yesterday. The headache was mild but uncomfortable.
A feeling that cannot be expressed in words, churned inside me. I managed to survive.

It seems that I left it somewhere. I am reluctant to find it back.

But somehow, ...
I miss talking to you all. I miss sitting down together. I miss the laughter you all brought to me. I miss having fun with you all. I miss spending time with you all. I miss those times when you all came to look for me when facing problems. I miss HTH talks with you all. I miss the encouragements you all gave me. I miss those times when you all tell me you cared. I miss the 100% you all gave me. I miss ...

All these and more, I miss.
I want to find it back. I really want to.
But somehow, I think I should let it go. I think ... But I do not want regrets.
& why, do I still hold on? Someone, guide me.


Yours truly,
Me

chapter 353

Dear Dairy, Sunny.

This week is really mundane. I look forward to nothing.
But the only thing is, my mood fluctuates every now and then.
Everything seemed so superficial.

Substituted.
Literally or physically.
I know I am making assumptions, being sensitive.
Why? Humans. Actions. Conversations.

I starting doubting. I didn't know when and why.
I am skeptical. For now.
The old me. I allowed it to rule over the present.
I think I need to be focus. I need to prioritise.

I believed that by seeing things in a larger perspective, you will see the whole picture. Focusing on one point of the picture is redundant. It is too late when you start to lament over something that cannot be solved anymore. So, I need to keep my mind clear.

I need to learn and accept changes.
I need to be more gracious in my thoughts.
I need to be more acute mental towards people
I need to be less susceptible of attitudes and feelings.
I need to know I do not have rights to control, we are all equal.
I need to learn how to cherish and keep relationship going.
I need to be forgiving.

There is more for me to learn. It is a matter of time.
& this is my blog.


I feel better now.
A period of unrest emotions.


Yours truly,
Me

chapter 352, A letter to AA1'10

Dear dairy, Fine.

My Team, AA1'10 and I

3 years. 2008, 2009 and 2010.
Watching them grow and learn. Seeing them laugh and cry.

Each year with a different storyline. Only you and I will understand.
Mentoring this team for 3 years. My job is done. I feel completed.
I've showed my weakest and strongest side of me to this team.
It is all kept inside me. It is precious indeed. Bonded together.
This is a very short letter. Memories.


Lastly, it is that bond and that love for this team.
& tears trickled down my cheeks.

All the best.



with love,
Mentor; Me

chapter 351

First Aid cum Home Nursing
Competition Camp 2010

East View Secondary School Corps

Hey all. I am back from camp.
It was held on the 15th to 17 march 2010.

As the Camp Commandant of this camp.
Just to say thank you to everyone.

As the mentor of AA team,
Give me your best.


20th March will be the day.
Go for it Competitors. Together as one.
Pride. Honour. Perseverance.
East View.

Chapter 350

Dear Dairy, Fine


I have been real busy this week. And, I am very x 100000ect. angry while working part-time at a Chinese Restaurant, Ruyi.

The fucking restaurant managers seems to have some issues with Iris and I.
Oh, not 3 of them. To be exact, 2. Oh, fuck you. This is for you :)

I worked because I need to kill time not because I am there to see your __________ faces. I work partially because I need the extra allowances, but if, I need to see your _______ faces, I rather not get the extra allowances. And, if I were rich enough, I will throw money into your faces soaked in urine and faeces of every living thing. I will smirked at your ugly faces :D

Accusing me. Ordering me with your authority with no respect. So why should I listen and succumb to you. Fucker. Showing me your unhappy faces will caused me to be even happier because you losers are really losers.

Want to sack me? Yea, I am so-fine-with-it. I am waiting for you to tell me. So I will smile and walk away. Because I do not need to see your fucking drunkard blood shot face. Like causing my eye to swell and irritation to it. And you, do not try to be a hypocrite. Because you do not have the power or looks. Both of you have nothing. Bastards. :D

Lemme tell you, I will not be working in F&B for the next 10, 20, 30, 40 years so on and forth. Esp in this fucked up company, so, do not bother to tell me I am blacklisted, I don't give a damn. Because in the future, my employer (MOH) will be better and much better than now. This fucked up place of yours is just a small fry, I mean, really small fry. As compared to my future career, this job I am working now is nothing. I swear, nothing. This part time job is not my future career neither is my main source of income. So fuck you.

Asking me to have some discipline? Oh, I think you are telling the wrong person. You don't respect me. I don't respect you. We shall play it fair and square. You wanna kill me, I will kill you and it will be double.

What a disgusting name you've got there. Bunny? An old man like you with sucha cute name? I think people around feels disgusted and tried to induce themselves to throw up whenever they can. Anorexics should try calling your name, it will help them to throw up naturally rather than having them doing it themselves :D I had goosebumps when I call upon your name. It is too disgusting. DISGUSTING. KM, you, sucky.

"Why are you so defensive?" Fuck, I am not wrong. So I have the rights to tell you that I don't care what you are going to tell or reprimand me. My conscience is clear. Like a crystal :D :D :D

"Why are you wearing gloves when cleaning up tables?" Why? Because I am a nurse, my hands are dedicated to save lives and take care of patients. Not to clean tables. Get it? I am so glad I said it directly into your face :) I am a champion.

Oh, how I wished you were dead.


Yours truly,
Me

chapter 349

Dear Dairy, Sunny

Oh. A week just gone passed like this.
And you will be away. It is tomorrow.

It is empty. Good bye.


"Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing"


Yours truly,
Me

chapter 348

Sunny.

Today was a fairytale. I walked down the pathway.
I did administration admission exercise at my college.
Then I started thinking. Somethings are left to be unsaid.

What you told me. It was a tad too fast.
When you are away. Your name will not be appearing on my screen.


"We built it up and watched it fall,
like we meant nothing at all."


Yours truly,
Me