chapter 377

Dear dairy, windy


Recently, something happened.
And I feel that it affected all of us. Or maybe, it is only me.
It is just a minor issue, but perhaps, I am harping on it and refuse to let go.

After that day, I headed home.
I felt lousy and just cried.
I feel lousy as compared to them. Inferiority sinks in.
Well, I guess it will always be there.

"Hey xxxxxxxxx, I miss you"
"Hey xxxxxxxxx, how's your week?"
"Hey xxxxxxxxx, what are you doing?"
All these, seemed to be impossible at the moment.
All conversations had to be formal and serious and tensed.
Why? Why? Why?

Depressed.
Something is missing.

Why asked me what happened?
I did told you all before, you all didn't bother to listen.
Why should I repeat myself over again? It will be pointless.
Do you all even care? Ask yourself. We all need to do some reflections.

When I needed all of you badly.
I doubt you all will even know. Because we are different after all.
When I need a pair of listening ears. Who do I look for? Who?
You? You? Or you?

Someone, tell me "It is okay. Everything will be fine"
Will you?


Yours truly,
Me

Chapter 376

Dear Dairy, hazy


Sometimes, ...
It just sucks.

Inferiority still sinks in somehow or rather.
I tried to play deaf, oh, I just could not.

Well, from now, I do not want to know anything.
Because, it does not benefit me in anyway.

Humans do not realise what is wrong, even though they asked why.
Because humans are selfish in nature as 'Id' is the main culprit in personality.
Then 'Superego' will try to pull human nature to the right path, however, it is a tough struggle.
Alas, 'Ego' will be the one making the decision, be it right or wrong.
So, at the end of the day, humans will only realise if the decision they chose hit them real hard. By feeling extremely sastified (pleasure) or misery & pain (guilt).


Yours truly,
Me

chapter 375, i'm back.

Dear Dairy, Fine

Hello. I am back.

I tried blogging just now, with a massive amount of photographs.
However, it failed. Sucker, blogger.

Nevermind, I shall only blog with a few then.
Lemme start, ...


18th September 2010

I commissioned as an Officer of
St. John Ambulance Brigade Singapore.

Well, it is a start of a new beginning now,
in this organisation.
My corps, EVSJAB.

Corps SO G (VI) Kenneth Chia Jin LongFlower 4s
We have made it together! :)
Yanteen Iris Huiting
Then few days back, I went recce at Mac Ritchie Reservoir Park.
Together with Iris, Huiting & Xingjuan.
Then yesterday, sent Dad off at the airport.
See you soon in 1 year's time.

Okay, I am done.
Tomorrow, I am back to school again!

Mug Mug Mug.
Here I come!

Yours truly,
Me

Chapter 374

Dear dairy, Rainy


Hello. Holidays are here. What to do? Nothing.
Iris and Xinyi are away in Phuket now. Enjoying the sun, beach and exotic fun.

I was offered to go on a short trip, by Dad.
If I were to say yes the other time, I am already out of Singapore by now or most prob next week. Zzz, yet, I rejected the offer. Sigh, so I am stuck here. Facing the lappy screen almost every night. What a loser.

2 days ago, I was working for an event banquet. As a waiter, sucky. End of story.

Then I realise, this holiday is really quiet.
I don't know, I sense something is not right. Something is wrong somewhere.


Well, fuck life for now. Till then.



Yours truly,
Me

chapter 373, with love.

Hello, just to share...


The 4 flowers of EVSJAB are going to be commission on...
Saturday, 18th September 2010!


More on facebook.com
Haha! Keep a look out!

Yours truly,
Me

chapter 372, random thoughts.

Dear Dairy, rainy.


Hello, I am back.
Recently, I have been through and understood a lot.
I feel. Empathy.

Life is never a smooth journey.
Face it positively, I am never alone.

Side track, I think I am going to sign bond with CGH.
With the allowances, I can save it to further my studies.
But, should I?

Thank you:
Iris
Huiting
Yanteen
Angela
Xing Juan
Xueshen
Xinyi
Damian

Many many more, ...
And of course, you.


Yours truly,
Me

chapter 371

Dear Dairy, Fine


Life is good. Not so good.
Well, attachment still going on. Loving Nursing, I learn and feel for everything I do.


Sadly, it is not my top priority now. Used to be.

"Hey, can learn to prioritize your things a not?"
I cannot be bothered by it anymore, I do what I want, I like and I am good in.
I do not want to do something just because I am doing for the sake of doing it.
Yet, because of responsibility. I am not able to go. Or maybe, it is not the right time to leave.
So many things on hand, so much comments from people. What is holding me back? Someone, tell me.

Friendship. Instructorship. Passion. Memories.


Secondly, I just have to smile. Sometimes, I just don't fit in.
Just because I am at a totally different environment. So they will not understand.
Well, I feel sad. No matter what, they will not understand, I will not want them to understand either. Nothing will be changed.


I am left with 1yr plus before graduation. Persevere.


Yours truly,
Me

chapter 369

Dear Dairy, rainy


天邊的那朵雲　要去那裏流浪
如果有答案　要記得跟我講
誰的愛　放在假日的市場
討價還價　拍賣著他的重量

穿著白色西裝的紫烏鴉
站在那裏不停的鼓掌
就要下雨　你的自尊要逃向何方
是男是女　隨便你要怎麼想

只為他　穿過一次的黑裙子　深深鎖在記憶的牆
寫好的遺言　也要用力唱　祭拜我們為了愛的瘋狂

只為他　穿過一次的黑裙子　還在風中盪
黑指甲　短頭髮　有些話不用講
為愛　我就是這樣


Yours truly,
Me

chapter 368

Dear Dairy, Rainy


Life at attachment will only be good. If, you have efficient and good teammates.
Sadly to say, I am teamed with incompetence asses. Incompetence.

I rather to have a small team of 4 to a team of 8.
Pure stupid. Nursing is not your cup of tea just go. You do not have to put up with all these shits.

I can't stand them slacking in the tea room, strolling from place to place, whining about how tired they are (As if we are not), sitting on patients' bed and chair, never punctual, ect ect ect.

Conclusion, these people are categorize under: Ill discipline.

Quality over Quantity

___


You.

Yours truly,
Me

chapter 368

Dear Dairy, Rainy


Hi all, I am back to this journal for a while. I have some time to spare here.
Recently, school ended. Now, I am at CGH, for my attachment phase, sem 1.1

I start to love nursing more. I am expose to many different situations in the ward.
Anyway, air-conditioned ward is the best! Lovin' it!

Go, go, go.

___

你 给的幸福在我心中自由走动

抚平我每一个伤口

关于你的一切我想要比谁都懂

Yours truly,
Me

chapter 367

Dear Dairy, rain

North Cape.

The Midnight Sun.

See you, North Cape.

Yours truly,
Me

chapter 365

Dear Dairy, fine

Wednesday.


A couple of hour of pampering.
A pair of jeans.
A pair of shoes.
A day alone. It went out just fine.



Love like there is no tomorrow.
Caught you looking, my friend whispered to me.
I giggled. It was a memory.

Are we still talking? Hello, how is your day?



Yours truly,
Me

chapter 364

Dear Dairy, sunny

Credits: Maydereth


I am only happy when it rains.

Yours truly,
Me

chapter 363

Dear dairy, rainy


Exhausted week. I need ample of rest.
Well, look forward. Stay positive.


In life, this particular feeling come and reside inside me for a period of time.
And I am blind by this feeling. Knowing that, it is not supposed to be this way.
Thinking too much, am I? Or it is because I allow myself to be deceived by it.


You. Brought me happiness.
But it will only be a mirage.



Yours truly,
Me

chapter 362

Dear dairy, fine


Finally, I am home. Home.
Feeling very worn out and exhausted. But it was all worthwhile.

Seeing different types of people with different characters.
This is life.


Well, do not judge me.
You do not know me. Do not even look at me if you have doubts of me.
Talk to me, if you have any questions. I am not a specimen.
Learn to accept and you will realise, I am just like you.

Whatever that lies ahead. I will still carry on.



Yours truly,
Me

chapter 361

Dear Dairy, Sunny


Hi people. I am blogging.

Finally, I am done with end of semester 1.1 exam.
I am not trying to boast. But I have confidence I am able to score A for both Nursing Studies and Biological Science. And further more, I am a bit more hardworking as compared to some of my classmates. Results will be everything, time will show.

I am happy that term break is here.

1. I do not have to walk to school and back home everyday. 20 god damn minutes for 1 journey. Sweating like a pig by the time i reached school.
   
2. I do not have to crawl out of bed at 6.30am everyday single fucking day. Snooze the alarm for a gazillion times.
   
3. I do not have torture myself to memorise what is phagocytocis, purpose of uro sheath, Ossification, pulmonary and systemic circulation, nursing considerations/actions/ responsibilities ect ect ect! FML.
   
4. I do not have to face irritating people that I seriously abhor, anyone?
5. I do not have to talk or at least communicate with people that I can barely understand a word.
   
6. I do not have to divert my attention to attention seeking fags that interrupt tutorials.
7. I do not have to spend 2hrs in LLA class. Seriously, the Lecture and this module is not well liked. 2 hrs nap time for me.
   
8. I do not need to try my best by staying awake in mass lectures. A torture for me and lectures will be on a look out for these people.
9. I do not need to squeeze inside a lift with people of different sizes. Worst, some of them have weird body odour, to hell with that.
10. I do not need to scout for seats in the cafe because I only have 1 hour of break. And seriously, 300 over students having break at the same time? 300 students = 150 seats available. For references purpose only.

There is still more but... Oh, well.

I will miss school as when school starts, I am having clinical attachment at the Hospital. For 10 weeks. 10 weeks.

I will miss school because,

1. I will not be able to queue and eat Japanese food everyday. By the way, I eat Japanese food EVERY SINGLE DAY (8 hardcore weeks), except some "special occasions".
2. I am not able to criticise, being sarcastic to people like 'Pulmonary valve, the M', the miniature one, Princess Fiona ect. I will definitely miss it. I swear.
3. I will miss some of my classmates which made a slight impact of my time spent in school: Krishnan, Gwenrina, "Geradon" (Even though she is very irritating and most importantly, retarded in a humorous way), Afro & Jas, Hong & Zakiah ect. Okay, my lecturers as well.
   
4. I miss spicy ramen, tofu and blueberry chocolate cake.
5. I miss dashing out of school when time is up for me to go home! Weee!

Nothing is more meaningful that had ever happened in Semester 1.1!
See you guys in September. Enjoy your clinical attachment. I don't really care about the minority. Ha. Ha.

The list can still go on. I do not write to please you.
Any comments, onto the paper and into the thrash.
Thank you.


Yours truly,
Me

chapter 360

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Fuck My Life.

chapter 359

Dear Dairy, fine

Zzz. Am I forgotten?
I lost myself.

When I am trying so hard to catch up,
You all don't even bother to say "Hi."

Yours truly,
Me

chapter 358

Dear Dairy, fine.


Hello there dairy. I have started schooling almost a month.
I survived through 3 weeks and 4 days. 23 more months left to graduation.

Studying Nursing is not so easy as you think.
Being a nurse is far more complex of what you can ever imagine.
But it is my passion. P A S S I O N.
Biology = killer = stress = Die die must pass = A

My classmates. . .
Irritants. Like 'Gloria'
Friendly.
Jokers.
Gossipers.
Approachable.
Hypocrites.
2 years with people like them. But still, I managed to be with the better ones though.

Going to school and leaving school is TWO different thing.
It is so different that I cannot adapt to the environment. Like a walking zombie in nursing uniform. I can finally breathe when I am outside of school. My heart can finally beat at a normal rate. Further more, I am drained totally. Physically and mentally. Tests and exams are on their way = FML.

Everyday, I am alone. I do not enjoy school unlike in the past.
Where friends around me are awesomezxzxzx asses.
Close ones are not with me. At least, they are together. They have accompany unlike me.
Boo.

Period.

___

Lastly, I miss Bravo'07

Yours truly,
Me

chapter 357, BRAVO'07 POP

Dear Dairy, rainy.

17th April 2010, Saturday.

A memorable day for me.
A new beginning for them
A day where a chapter ends and a start of a new beginning.

Year 2007, they were young and innocent.
Year 2008, they were training through hardship.
Year 2009, they were ready for challenges.
Year 2010, they are ready to set sail for a new horizon.

My Pride.
BRAVO'07
Xiang Yew, Justin, Jonasson, Yong Jun
Rong Chang, Guo Wang, Jun Hao, Hiu Hang
Sunita, Shi Hui, Sze Hui, Ruyi
Vicky, Jun Jie

Informal shot :)

"BRAVO!"
My tears, just came rolling down my cheeks.
"THANK YOU INSTRUCTORS!"
I burst out in tears for the second time.

Every word felt so warm.
4 years of training these young men and women.
My effort paid off.
And I gained much more from it.

As your Asst. Platoon Commander, I want to say is:
When you all are lost, just come back.
I am always here, not going anywhere.
Take care, Brave Souls. Best wishes.
with love.

Lastly, they are the one.
AA1'10

My tears came falling down.
Misses.

Yours truly,
Me