chapter 377

Dear dairy, windy


Recently, something happened.
And I feel that it affected all of us. Or maybe, it is only me.
It is just a minor issue, but perhaps, I am harping on it and refuse to let go.

After that day, I headed home.
I felt lousy and just cried.
I feel lousy as compared to them. Inferiority sinks in.
Well, I guess it will always be there.

"Hey xxxxxxxxx, I miss you"
"Hey xxxxxxxxx, how's your week?"
"Hey xxxxxxxxx, what are you doing?"
All these, seemed to be impossible at the moment.
All conversations had to be formal and serious and tensed.
Why? Why? Why?

Depressed.
Something is missing.

Why asked me what happened?
I did told you all before, you all didn't bother to listen.
Why should I repeat myself over again? It will be pointless.
Do you all even care? Ask yourself. We all need to do some reflections.

When I needed all of you badly.
I doubt you all will even know. Because we are different after all.
When I need a pair of listening ears. Who do I look for? Who?
You? You? Or you?

Someone, tell me "It is okay. Everything will be fine"
Will you?


Yours truly,
Me

Chapter 376

Dear Dairy, hazy


Sometimes, ...
It just sucks.

Inferiority still sinks in somehow or rather.
I tried to play deaf, oh, I just could not.

Well, from now, I do not want to know anything.
Because, it does not benefit me in anyway.

Humans do not realise what is wrong, even though they asked why.
Because humans are selfish in nature as 'Id' is the main culprit in personality.
Then 'Superego' will try to pull human nature to the right path, however, it is a tough struggle.
Alas, 'Ego' will be the one making the decision, be it right or wrong.
So, at the end of the day, humans will only realise if the decision they chose hit them real hard. By feeling extremely sastified (pleasure) or misery & pain (guilt).


Yours truly,
Me

chapter 375, i'm back.

Dear Dairy, Fine

Hello. I am back.

I tried blogging just now, with a massive amount of photographs.
However, it failed. Sucker, blogger.

Nevermind, I shall only blog with a few then.
Lemme start, ...


18th September 2010

I commissioned as an Officer of
St. John Ambulance Brigade Singapore.

Well, it is a start of a new beginning now,
in this organisation.
My corps, EVSJAB.

Corps SO G (VI) Kenneth Chia Jin LongFlower 4s
We have made it together! :)
Yanteen Iris Huiting
Then few days back, I went recce at Mac Ritchie Reservoir Park.
Together with Iris, Huiting & Xingjuan.
Then yesterday, sent Dad off at the airport.
See you soon in 1 year's time.

Okay, I am done.
Tomorrow, I am back to school again!

Mug Mug Mug.
Here I come!

Yours truly,
Me

Chapter 374

Dear dairy, Rainy


Hello. Holidays are here. What to do? Nothing.
Iris and Xinyi are away in Phuket now. Enjoying the sun, beach and exotic fun.

I was offered to go on a short trip, by Dad.
If I were to say yes the other time, I am already out of Singapore by now or most prob next week. Zzz, yet, I rejected the offer. Sigh, so I am stuck here. Facing the lappy screen almost every night. What a loser.

2 days ago, I was working for an event banquet. As a waiter, sucky. End of story.

Then I realise, this holiday is really quiet.
I don't know, I sense something is not right. Something is wrong somewhere.


Well, fuck life for now. Till then.



Yours truly,
Me

chapter 373, with love.

Hello, just to share...


The 4 flowers of EVSJAB are going to be commission on...
Saturday, 18th September 2010!


More on facebook.com
Haha! Keep a look out!

Yours truly,
Me

chapter 372, random thoughts.

Dear Dairy, rainy.


Hello, I am back.
Recently, I have been through and understood a lot.
I feel. Empathy.

Life is never a smooth journey.
Face it positively, I am never alone.

Side track, I think I am going to sign bond with CGH.
With the allowances, I can save it to further my studies.
But, should I?

Thank you:
Iris
Huiting
Yanteen
Angela
Xing Juan
Xueshen
Xinyi
Damian

Many many more, ...
And of course, you.


Yours truly,
Me

chapter 371

Dear Dairy, Fine


Life is good. Not so good.
Well, attachment still going on. Loving Nursing, I learn and feel for everything I do.


Sadly, it is not my top priority now. Used to be.

"Hey, can learn to prioritize your things a not?"
I cannot be bothered by it anymore, I do what I want, I like and I am good in.
I do not want to do something just because I am doing for the sake of doing it.
Yet, because of responsibility. I am not able to go. Or maybe, it is not the right time to leave.
So many things on hand, so much comments from people. What is holding me back? Someone, tell me.

Friendship. Instructorship. Passion. Memories.


Secondly, I just have to smile. Sometimes, I just don't fit in.
Just because I am at a totally different environment. So they will not understand.
Well, I feel sad. No matter what, they will not understand, I will not want them to understand either. Nothing will be changed.


I am left with 1yr plus before graduation. Persevere.


Yours truly,
Me